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06-Aug-2017 23:50

Example: I don't want to date anyone whose parents still pay all his bills, someone who lives a double life as a secret stoner, someone who is intolerant of religion, or someone who rarely showers or trims his facial hair (the lumberjack/rocker thing is sexy until weird smells start permeating the vicinity).

But with the bad comes the good, and my past exes did teach me a few things about what I do want in a relationship: a partner with a sense of humor, and someone who's more than willing to eat cold pizza and marathon watch/geek out over Twin Peaks with me (trust me, not many folks are willing to put up with this). He was funny, had a grown-up 9-5 job (I immediately made note of his Netflix-marathoning potential), and had ridiculous comic book tattoos.

I've dated some pretty swell fellas in the past that have done impressive things, but this one is successfully raising two humans into respectful little dudes.

He's responsible in a way that a lot of men aren't, and I get to see what kind of person he is by the way he interacts with his kids.

As it turns out, there are actually a lot of perks to dating someone with kids. (Besides the kids themselves, obviously.)This one is a little selfish on my part: I can't eat candy anymore (I had weight loss surgery nearly eight years ago and sugar is definitely not my friend), but every now and then, I just really want to buy a bag of Skittles.

It works out, because the kids get special candy, I don't have to eat it, and I'm the hero.

They're usually extra-colorful and whimsical and probably aren't going to make you barf.

Having two kids around that you can "steal" so you can ride the Tea Cups with furious abandon is pretty much one of the best things in the world.

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The math in putting 1 1 together is hard enough; it’s an equation we spend our whole lives trying to master until at last we form a solid pair. I met someone amazing, and at the same time, met his kids (also amazing). Now, some time later and armed with a better understanding, there are a few things I wish I’d known from the get-go that might have spared me some serious mental struggle: It sounds aggressive, as though I’m telling you that dating someone with kids will ensure you’re always treated second-rate, never coming first and always neglected in some aspect for preferential love to the young ones. The kids will always come first, yes, but if he’s a catch and you’re lucky, you’ll score second place.

And being able to impress a six-year-old with your knowledge of Adventure Time characters? While 4th grade English might not be the toughest nut to crack, I still feel like a genius when I get to show a kid how to cite sources on a piece of paper (never mind that it's wide ruled paper and it's a paper about photosynthesis).